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Golf Image   PAR for Life
by Dorothy Campbell, M.Ed

Even if some of you are not avid golfers, I´m sure that you know what "PAR for the course" means. This phrase moved from the golf course and became a common expression when the expected outcome of a situation occurred. I can see you nodding your head and saying, "Yes, I know what par for the course means." But do you ever think about what the PAR is for life? Well, let me explain. My "Today´s Woman - Being The Best You Can Be and my Self-Power Workshops and Seminars are based on the concept that we can not always control the people and situations that we encounter. However, we can control our attitudes and reactions to those people and situations, - through our perception. Therefore, PAR for life is our:

Perception - which creates our
Attitude - which determine our
Reaction - which produces the outcome.

We have all heard stories of individuals who supposedly were physically incapable of performing a task. Yet to everyone´s astonishment they accomplished the impossible. These individuals refused to accept outside perceptions of their capabilities. Instead they created their own perception by visualizing themselves succeeding. Perception, our vision, is an internal process that we control and can be changed. We can accept a perception of limitations or we can choose a vision of success and accomplishment. The Choice is ours to make.

There is a saying that "We eventually become what we think we are". Thinking, perception, visualizing are all the same process and can determine our success or failure. To use golf as an example; if you perceive and visualize yourself as proficient golfer, then you perform as a proficient golfer. You can view sand traps and hazards as threatening obstacles which you will be unable to overcome. Or, you can perceive them as a challenge and visualize your celebration as you do your very best on the course. You see, visualizing a positive outcome to any situation, creates an attitude inside us that makes us react in a manner that practically guarantees success. Establishing a positive perception is not an easy process, it takes practice. But then doesn´t anything that we want to excel at in life. Proficiency in positive perception will bring incredible rewards.

The next time you are facing a new challenge, take some time to visualize your success and establish the perception that your vision is reality. See yourself successfully completing the challenge with calm and ease. You must visualize the results that you want and accept them as true. When you can visualize with true conviction, then positive PAR will take over and make your vision a reality.

I wish you all PAR for the golf course and positive PAR for life.


"Reiki has changed the way I live my life."

This page contains my personal thoughts and experience with Reiki and my reasons for accepting the honor of passing on this miraculous gift. It is difficult to express with the written word, just what Reiki is and its life-altering effects. However, once you have experienced its power and love, you will need no written word - what you feel will transcend explanation.

I find that the more I practice Reiki, the more natural the process becomes. At times I have difficulty remembering what my life was like before Reiki. I have been a teacher for most of my life. All of my teaching had been logic-based. Even when I created my Self-Power® classes, they were built on research and earth-bound personal experience. I accepted early in my life, that my purpose on this earth plane is to help others. Although I knew that my intuition, my spirit, was guiding me, I did not recognize until my introduction to Reiki, where my path was leading. Through Reiki, I have not only assisted others in improving the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual levels of their being, but have a greater understanding and acceptance of my purpose and the Universal energy that placed me on this path.

Let me explain that I use the word Universe to define the higher source of creation. I do this in order not to offend the belief system of anyone. You may call this source whatever resonates with you.

Reiki is a life-altering experience - but in the most positive, possible way. Whether you practice Reiki only on yourself, or share it with family and friends, the blessings that you receive through the practice of Reiki will improve your well-being on many levels. One of the blessings of being a Reiki practitioner is the ability to facilitate wellness in others. Another is that while you are facilitating wellness in others, you are also receiving this miraculous gift, as you become a channel for the Reiki energy that flows through you.

I wish you Much Good Health, Happiness, Love and Positive Energy, Always!



Don´t Just Talk - "Communicate"

One of my most popular Self-Power® presentations to corporations and associations carries this title. My first question to my audience is "What is the difference between talking and communicating". Some of the responses I get are: "Listening", "It takes two to communicate", "One person talks, then the other person talks", "Speaking clearly and distinctly". All these statements are valid and make sense to the individuals that share them. However, by the time the presentation is over, they have a totally different definition and process for successful communication.

Most of us learned something about the Communication Cycle somewhere along our path in search of knowledge and enlightenment. We were told that all communication consisted of a Sender, a Message and a Receiver. Sounds pretty simple doesn´t it? Well then why is miscommunication so prevalent? My experience has been that we are leaving out a very important piece of the communication cycle and that piece is "FEEDBACK".

Think about the Telephone game that you played as a child, where the first person whispered something to the second, then the second to the third and so on. No one was aloud to ask any questions and when the last person in line repeated the statement out loud, it had no resemblance to what the first person had said. Everyone had great fun with this game, but now that we´re all grown up, not sending or receiving the correct message is not so funny. In fact, miscommunication accounts for a large percentage of problems in relationships, both on a personal and a professional level. If we acknowledge that Feedback is the key to successful communication, the next question is, who is responsible for providing that Feedback? Here my audience usually splits in two, some say the Receiver while others say the Sender. Well, the fact is that both the Sender and the Receiver are responsible for including Feedback in the communication. The Sender of the Message should request Feedback to insure that the message is being received and understood as they wish it to be. The Receiver of the Message should offer Feedback to confirm that their understanding of the message is accurate. I once worked for a man who always said to me "What you understand, is what you understand". In other words, just because you understand what you are saying, in the manner that you are saying it, doesn´t guarantee that someone else will understand it that way.

One person´s interpretation of a message and another person´s interpretation may be totally different. It´s no wonder we sometimes get into trouble when we talk. Including Feedback in the communication cycle has been a great help to many of my students, both in business and in their home life. It works wonders with children of all ages. The few minutes that it takes to process Feedback, may save hours of additional work and frustration. Some of the phrases you may use are: "What I hear you saying, is", then repeat what your interpretation is; "My understanding is"; "Am I making myself clear? Can you please explain how you will handle this?"; "Would you like me to clarify anything I´ve just said?".

This presentation usually lasts four (4) hours, so I could write much more. But it is now time for me to stop and request your FEEDBACK as to whether you want more information on communicating.


This Loneliness Is Killing Me - NOT!

"How To Be Alone, But Not Lonely"

I grew up in a generation with the established theory that it is a "known fact" that men and women had to a couple to be complete. Well, today it is a “known fact” that many men and women do not have a significant other in their lives and are not only surviving, but are quite happy - Thank You Very Much! There are countless individuals who either by choice or circumstance are living a singular life style. It’s not always easy, but one thing that helps is to recognize that there is a big difference between being alone and being lonely. Not having a significant other in your life does not necessarily mean that you allow being on your own to create the feeling of loneliness. When we become comfortable with who and what we are, the time that we spend alone can be not only acceptable, but down right enjoyable. I, for one, totally enjoy the time I spend with me. It allows me to do that much needed introspection and locate that quiet place inside me that answers my questions and helps me solve my problems. If meditation, guided imagery or self-hypnosis are not part of your personal repertoire, then perhaps the following acronyms might help you to shoo away that feeling of loneliness when it starts to creep into your subconscious.

Redefine the word ALONE

Act - Do something - Move - Get physical
Love you - still a worthwhile person - get to know you - take care of you - spend quality time with you
Observe - become aware - get outside yourself and get involved
No Negatives - people, situations, or thinking - replace with Pen-to-Paper & Positive Self Talk
Emotional CPR - Cancel, Positively Replace all negative thoughts with good things about you

Get some PEP

Pen-to-Paper - use to eliminate pain, guilt or regret (you can throw away or keep)
Emotional CPR - use to replace any and all negatives
Positive Self Talk - use to reinforce all the good that is around you, in you and a part of you

Establish a Positive PARR for life

Perception - which creates our
Attitude - which determines our
Reaction - which produces the
Result - Positive

Does it take time and effort to become so comfortable with yourself that you can’t relate to the word lonely? Yes, definitely. But how many of us spend not only time, but significant amounts of money to learn how to play golf or tennis, and attend countless seminars and workshops to improve our skills for our professional lives? But when it comes to what should be our most important priority "ourselves", we revert to whatever excuse comes to mind; it’s the weekend, I’ll start on Monday, It’s just too hard, I just don’t have the time. Well, let me say this, "You are the only You, You have," and you are worth the effort it takes, to make you feel good about you.

My favorite dictionary definition for the word alone is "Being without equal; unique". So the next time that you find yourself alone, remember that you are "without equal" and look for that special part of you that makes you "unique" and celebrate the you that you are.



Remember when you were a child and used your imagination to see and be, whatever and whoever you wanted? Those were days when you could escape to that special place that belonged to only you. No other person or thing could enter unless you gave your permission. Growing up as an only child, I certainly remember what a useful and comforting tool my imagination was. As young children, we are permitted the luxury of using our imagination for whatever purpose serves us. But then life happens! We begin to grow up and we learn all the concrete basics of living in the real world. Somehow, somewhere along the way, we lose that wonderful, comforting part of our imagination that makes us feel happy and safe, and instead relegate its power to creating most of the fears in our lives. We allow this wonderful, inherent gift that let us take control of our feelings and attitude as a child, to become a dormant skill, used only to magnify our fears and shortcomings.

Self-Power is the process of taking back the control of your imagination, your subconscious mind, your higher self, that special place inside you where you have the power to not only create your vision, but to make it reality. I believe that each of us has inside ourselves the power to draw to us the happy, healthy, stress-free life that we deserve.

The first step is to get back in touch with that special place inside you through whatever method you find most comfortable. Meditation, Visualization, Guided Imagery, and Self-Hypnosis, are just a few of the tools that you may use to reactivate the lost art of creating happiness and wellness for yourself. Turning down your conscious mind and allowing your inner self to take control may take some time and dedication, but the results are well worth the effort. Believe me, I know.

"Seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you."

I wish you Much Good Health, Happiness, Love and Positive Energy, Always!


Copyright © 2005 Life Balancing Corporation